LISTEN UP PEOPLE
On the 7th day I rested. Okay, so I slept in a little late on the 8th, but hey, let's face facts, it was a tough week.You create a whole friggin universe in a week. Well, a week to me. Everyone takes everything I say so damn literally. It gets really annoying! God forbid I say a week and a tiny minority of Christians blows it all out of proportion. Like a bunch of damned lawyers-Itake no responsibility for them. That was humanity's screw up. All of thge sudden everybody is all like, "You said a week," or "the earth is like 5000 years old." Have we ever heard of parables and allegories? Perhaps a figure of speech. When you come home from a tough day at work and say, "Whew, that was a long day," it doesn't mean it was longer than 24 hours. I know, I know. You're gonna say I gave you free will. I did. I admit that. The intention was you would use it to think freely and explore the universe, not choose you be and idiot. I wanted you to pursue knowledge without fear of my wrath. Instead, thgose of you literalists who refuse to believe you descended from apes are working overtime to prove the point!
NOTES ON THE CREATION OF THE UNIVERSE
I rather like this whole bog thing. Thank's to Al Gore. I mean I tried dealing with you people in the Good Books; the Koran, Bible, Torah, Confucious, Mohammad, Jesus, Moses and Radiohead, but you folks like to compartmentalize yourselves into these tiny closed little groups. This internet thing though, well it cuts through all that. It has a way of connecting the world in ways I never really thought of.
I'm not perfect(you'll excuse a few grammatical errors, my first language is the rhythm of nature). How dull would that be. I would be like the really obnoxious friend at the party, right? I mean, I invented sex of every kind. By sleeping in on the 8th day I allowed the Mongol invasions, Black plague, Caligula, Hilter, Dick Cheney, Britney Speirs, Rwanda, racism and the Blue Man Group to happen. Truth is, I, God, has a filthy mind and I'm kind of on the lazy side. For that I am sorry, but I am not in this crap alone. That's why I have returned to, let's say, tidy up a bit.
To say that I invented the universe might be overstting things just a bit. The universe doesn't need me to exist. You don't need me to exist. A clever orphan would find a way to exist alone on an island. I am the comfort in the night when you are at your lowest and most alone. I am a warm hearth on a cold night. I am the journey, not the destination. What I am not is a flag for you to wave at your enemy, or the cloak to obscure your hatred beneath. I have no army, but those who wield truth as their only weapon, and those who champion the weak. Sorry FOX-NEWS
That said, there are a few things I intend to get off my chest in upcoming postings. We'll cover elections, crime, racism, poverty, politics(particularly politics), war and pretty much anything under the sun. Listen, I've got some catching up to do. You blokes have been rather busy. Next blog...
HOW I "CREATED" THE UNIVERSE.
Rap at you be-otchs later.
Love,
GOD
Coming up: The Republican candidates
9 comments on I Take Full Responsibility for a World of Crap!
Add a comment
To add comments without entering your email and image verification, you must be logged in. Login or Join Blogster
Bubba in Texas.
I invented thick skin. Love ya, kid. Stay tuned.
God
[HEART]
At least I got your attention. Sorry about that really bad Christmas back in '58. Your dad didn't start out to be an abusive alcoholic. He's hear with me now and we've had some good conversations. He always wanted to say that he loved you, but stuff always seemed to get in the way. The things that hurt us most are never outside, but inside us. Open your heart. We'll talk more.
God
[HEART][HEART][HEART]
Sure is cold in this cave. Sucks being hated by the whole world. Tell me, God, is there any way back to that innocence we had as children?
[BLUSH]
Look for an upcoming blog on evil. It will answer a lot of questions. Knowledge is weight that, if unguarded rushes innocence. The hatred in our hearts is also a weight. You have gone down road and ther may be no way back for you, but you may serve as a witness to others tempted by that darker road. Question is, are you brave enough and sorry enough to undertake that challenge, even all alone, and if there is no earthly reward. Just know that even though you've done some awful things you must atone for, that I still love you.
GOD[HEART][HEART][HEART][HEART]
But you seem to be doing fine- talking to yourself.
Welcome to Blogster[GLARE]