Battle of the Christmas Ads

Well, this is a new one in the annals of presidential elections. Not to be outdone by the competition, and certainly not to be accused of being less Christmasy, let alone less of an American Christian, all the candidates are rushing to get out greetings to the world. Of course it is a thinly veiled attempt to cynically out christian the others. I guess it is an indication of who we have entered the era of perpetual campaigning, and the rise of a new permanent industry. Thought you would appreciate a run down of the various candidates and their commercials.

HUCKABEE- He fired first with his home-spun appeal to have all the candidates just get along. I remember I saw this sickly sweet refrain before on the Andy Griffith show!

GIULIANI-He's promised to get us all the gift of security, prosperity and hope. Hmm, all things we had before the Republicrooks under Bush and Cheney stole the 2000 election. Maybe he could gotten decent radios for the NY first responders like he promised after 9-11. He send us all a fruitcake, he says. Come to think of it his heads is shaped like a cake pan.

OBAMA-Who would have believed that a black man with a Muslim middle name, trained by secret underground Islamic Dr. Evils to be a Manchurian candidate, and lead us towards sharia law would have the most sincere and simple message. SARCASM KEY PLEASE

Up and coming ads...

THOMPSON- in coveralls and a dulled, slack-jawed stare, he nods nervously in this homage to Sling Blade. "Ain';t no body ought not have a bad Christmas, uh-huh. Fix-in ta take a sling blade them terr'rist fellers."

HILLARY- Waiting to see what Obama would do, like in all those votes, is working on her own. In it she takes no firm stand on Christmas, or any holiday for that matter, at least until the polling data reveal how the American people...

KUCINICH- Why fight it Dennis. You're the elf with aspirations to knock off that corrupt and arrogant dumb guy in the big house.

RON PAUL-Working script for his holiday greeting courtesy of some of his ultra-far right wing(enough to give the Nazis a nose bleed)..."I would like to wish everyone a wonderful holiday. If elected president I will secure the borders, crush international terrorism, und then vee vill seize Czechoslovakia, und Poland..."

Not to be outdone even Osama bin Laden has joined in with a season's greeting.

"To all the infidels wishing you Merry Christmas. Hmm, your constitution is in shreds, ca n't take toothpaste to airport, Bush spies on all people, unwinable war killing and maiming maybe Americans and draining treasury, American currency plummeting, US government taken over by Corporate Oligarchy...Thank you Santa, was more than I come hope for..."

Reminding everyone to send in definitions or experiences with evil and why it met the definition. The series begins later today...