Ann Coulter...whatever!

On today's Dennis Miller radio program the demure and oh so sweet Ann Coulter once again displayed either a monumental ignorance of the law, or she just flat out lied. which, in my opinion is her usual faire. She had poor Dennis in a tizzy over his support for John McCain by stating that McCain sought Article 3 trials for Gitmo detainees, and made no effort to correct or comfort little Denny's fears that terror suspects would be run through the "same court system as I would."  That would be, in Dennis' words, a deal breaker in his support for McCain. Why Dennis was so beside himself he couldn't even compare the whole mess to a movie! Not like a movie, you say? I guess that meant it was beyond his cartoonish understanding of the world as seen through Hollywood's particular prism. Just a few things that ought to bring the whole thing into focus. Don't worry Limbaugh conservatives, despite the facts of the article you are still obliged to ignore them and continue your visceral hatred for McCain. Oh, to borrow a phrase from Coulter, we'll call it McCain derangement syndrome.

First of all, the female impersonator Coulter was correct in one basic fact. McCain did advocate Article 3 trials for terror suspects. after that it is understandable that she would become confused over, what are those words? Oh yeah, THE LAW AND CONSTITUTION!

Article 3 refers to Aricle 3, Section 2 of the US Constitution. To review, the Constitution is that old time document with all the words like rights and freedom, liberty and due process, and what was that other thing? Something about ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, ENDOWED BY THEIR CREATOR WITH UNALIENABLE RIGHTS. Then again, it is people like coulter who think they should decide whose rights are unalienable. If it is open to interpretation and selection then I think fake blond anorexics with unusually large Adam's Apples should have to prove on Pay Per View television if they are in fact male or female.

Article 3 states, Dennis and Ann: THE TRIAL OF A CRIME, EXCEPT IN CASES OF IMPEACHMENT, SHALL BE BY JURY AND SUCH TRIAL SHALL BE HELD IN THE STATE WHERE SAID CRIMES HAD BEEN COMMITTED, BUT WHEN NOT COMMITTED WITHIN ANY STATE THE BTRIAL SHALL BE AT SUCH A PLACE OR PLACES AS CONGRESS MAY BY LAW HAVE DIRECTED. To interpret that for Dennis Miller, on Planet of the Apes, Taylor, considered a terrorist by the gorillas, would stand trial with the oversight of the ruling orangatans, while Chimpanzees would not be allowed into that part of the proceedings that was classified. In fact, in previous terror trials, like those convicted of the 1st Trade Center attack in 1993, classified intelligence assets were heard in secret, were not compromised by the defense and lead to successful convictions.

In July, Federal appeals court judge Douglas Ginsberg cited the Detainee Treatment Act(DTA) which compelled the court to view all government evidence rtegarding detainees. "THE COURT CANNOT CONSIDER WHETHER A PERPONDERANCE OF THE EVIDENCE SUPPORTS THE TRIBUNALS STATUS DETERMINATION WITHOUT SEEING ALL THE EVIDENCE, ANY MORE THAN ONE CAN TELL WHETHER A FRACTION IS MORE OR LESS THAN HALF BY LOOKING ONLY AT THE NUMERATOR, AND NOT THE DENOMINATOR. again, for Mr. Miller, if the Blue Smurfs put a green smurf on trial they must provide evidence. See, in America, the accused is innocent until PROVEN guilty in a COURT OF LAW, not on FOX news, or in Ann Coulter's columns, and not even because King George Bush has proclaimed someone guilty.

The DTA is not a Liberal invention, but based on Constitutional Law (that old time paper again). It is supported by the Geneva Convention, which is a treaty ratified by the United States Congress, in response to POW mistreatment and torture by Japanese and German soldiers and their allies. Remember Nuremburg and the trials? Dennis, it was a movie! Once a gain that pesky Constitution says that any treaty ratified by Congress is also the law of this great land.

Article 3 of the Geneva Convention defines treatment of detainees, prohibiting torture, degrading and inhuman treatment. God, for all you Righties who only buy books by Republicrooks like Coulter, with comfortably small words and lots of goodguy/badguy stuff, it must be awful when law gets in the way. There are no pictures in the Geneva Convention text, but try if you can face truth to read through Articles 4 and 5. Especially the part about SUCH PERSONS SHALL ENJOY THE PROTECTION OF THE PRESENT CONVENTION UNTIL SUCH TIME AS THEIR STATUS HAS BEEN DETERMINED BY A COMPETENT TRIBUNAL.

So Dennis, don't worry. Though I don't know exactly what crime you are anticipating would put you on trial, Osama wouldn't be in the next courtroom over from traffic court. His trial wouldn't be televised like OJ Simpson's and he wouldn't be in the general lock-up talking to Nancy Grace about state secrets. What might happen is that the world, which had long viewed us as the leader and example in upholding civil rights and human rights might have enough faith in us once again that this might become a safer and more civil world. Then again maybe you think bombing and berating folks is the best way to make then accept that point of view.

PASS THE SARCASM KEY PLEASE!